At the very least, toilet tissue is treated with aloe vera for softness. Many brands are perfumed and some have printed patterns to further ensure our bathroom experiences are pleasant. Soap, makeup, shaving gel and most every other vanity are chemically augmented for the delight of the consumer to see, smell and touch. The brand of toothpaste that I use includes an ingredient listed as “flavor.”

By the time we complete our morning hygiene we have been exposed to a half dozen chemicals. Entering the kitchen, we are confronted with the basic food groups which now include frozen, canned, instant and microwavable. So many of our food products are now chemically modified. Even the organic foods often include artificial coloring or flavoring additives. Perhaps fruit is the exception, if waxed apples are excluded.

So what if our tap water is tainted? If there really are hormones floating about in my drinking glass, I hope at least they are accompanied by antidepressants. That way I will be happy when I begin to develop enlarged breasts.